Renting Lacy Archives - Shared Hope International

May 19, 2014 by SHI Staff

Thank You Chris Gay

The following Blog Post was written by Defenders Co-Chairman, Nick Lembo.

In fighting Sex Trafficking, one man can make a difference. One man heard me speak in Washington DC, and things changed for the Defenders USA in fighting sex trafficking. The smallest of actions can add up to major changes in our culture.

What might appear to be a small decision led to a tipping point for major developments in the Defenders Program. One man was instrumental in leading the Defenders USA in their work with the trucking industry. His name is Chris Gay. He is one of our Defenders and this month we wish to celebrate his actions. He’s an active leader of The Defenders USA who is living in Ridgefield, Connecticut.

At one of my Defender’s classes in Washington D.C., Chris heard me say, “We want to get Linda Smith’s book Renting Lacy into the hands of truck drivers.” Earlier that year one of our Defender’s paid to create an audiobook version of Renting Lacy. Our intention was to educate the trucking industry through the audiobook. There seemed no better way than to provide information that truckers could simply listen to on their long hauls. However, we didn’t have the connections to get the book into the transportation industry.

Chris took it upon himself to work some contacts he had in the trucking industry. It led to a meeting with the CEO of one of the nation’s largest trucking companies. In that discussion, we discovered the trucking industry was beginning to recognize the need to implement training to stop the trafficking of our nation’s youth. They invited us to partner with them in creating materials to inform their employees.

We are now going to help this trucking company in three ways;

Debunk the myths surrounding domestic minor sex trafficking
Teach them how to identify victims
Provide ways for them to respond when they see trafficking occurring

Because of Chris’s actions, things are transpiring in a major trucking company with potentially widespread repercussions. Who knows what could be next?

Don’t underestimate your value in fighting sex trafficking in the United States. The smallest of actions all add up to major changes in our culture. Chris is a living example of that.

THANK YOU CHRIS!

-Nick Lembo and The Defenders USA

October 15, 2013 by SHI Staff

Take Action: The Power of Renting Lacy

In September of 2012, I found myself reading Renting Lacy. To be honest, I didn’t know what to expect. Despite the warning at the beginning of the book telling me that it has very tough content, I thought I could handle it. I thought to myself, I can do this. This will be a one-sitting book for me. I was confident because my mind is pretty tolerant of tough content. I’m a guy that can watch violent things; rated R movies with violent content are a piece of cake for me, because I have the ability to think and process through what I am seeing. Renting Lacy, however, turned out to be totally different.

After only one chapter of reading, my jaw had dropped, and I was nearly crying. One chapter after that, I found myself in tears, having to put the book down for a while. I couldn’t handle it. I found myself overwhelmed by the fact that Linda was sharing true stories. Unlike graphic rated R films, for the first time my mind could not separate the fake from reality. It was all reality. These brutal situations actually happened to women and children on a daily basis. Several days later, I found myself still reading Renting Lacy. The content was educational, but so shocking to the point that I had to put the book down and process what I read. This sounds like a negative thing, but it isn’t. It is important, especially when reading Renting Lacy, to sit down and process what you’ve read.

Renting Lacy changed my life. What I thought would be a one-sitting read turned into a one week read. Not because of the length of the book, but because of the shock that I had to process through.

Though this book was extremely hard to read through, it was absolutely necessary. I am so happy that I have read the book Renting Lacy, because it was the catalyst for me becoming a Defender and an activist against human trafficking.

Whether you are a current activist, or someone who is just now learning about human trafficking, you need to read this book. It will shock you. Perhaps it will make you cry. It will educate you. But more importantly, it will motivate you. Everyone needs to have a copy of this book, because it changes lives. Go get Renting Lacy NOW.

Renting Lacy is now available in audiobook form. You can get a digital or physical copy of the audiobook here.

December 12, 2012 by SHI Staff

Overcoming the Past: Understanding Through Renting Lacy

Guest Blog Post by Zen Loveall

False beliefs: I use to think that porn, strip clubs, and affairs were all O.K. I thought this was just part of being a guy. I use to think that my wife’s inability to satisfy me sexually was due to a problem with her. I am not hurting anyone. Women in porn and strip clubs want to do what they are doing and I am helping my mistresses by giving them the sex that they need. TV, movies, bars, clubs, advertising, magazines, and the Internet all fully supported these false beliefs.

What was my reality? I was using sex and fantasy for the wrong things and so too much would never be enough. Regular porn, and small amounts use to be O.K., but over time I needed more and more. Eventually, I was a walking dead man that lost total control of his sexual desires, living a fantasy life in my head, destroying my marriage, causing deep harm to the women that came into my life, all while supporting an industry that destroys women and children.

I was afraid of feeling my feelings and I had a lot of bad feelings. I did not understand that you can’t stop the bad feelings without stopping the good ones. I used the objectification of women and fantasy as an escape. Eventually I had no feelings…I was like a walking dead man. I wanted intimacy but bought into the myth that sex with a woman was intimacy. Sure it is a form of physical intimacy, but it is not real intimacy. You cannot have true intimacy with an object and that is what women had become for me. When I was out with my wife or friends I would just check out all the women in the room and spin fantasies in my mind around how these “objects” could satisfy me.

After I started to come out of my delusion, it took me years to turn this around. For over 15 years in my marriage, I made my wife feel less than and defective because she could not meet my insatiable sexual needs. I will have to spend the rest of my life trying to make up for that crime. I spent years in recovery groups around sex and I always use to wonder why don’t I see more strippers and prostitutes in recovery? The book “Renting Lacy” helped me to understand this. Very few of these young women make it into recovery because most of them die. The movie “The Whistleblower” also helped me to understand what I was contributing to.

When I read the book “Renting Lacy” and contemplated all the women and children suffering from this I cried and cried. I can never make that right, but I can support groups like Shared Hope and The Defenders and continue to come out of my delusion, learn to respect women as people, and continue to learn to be present and truly alive.

– Zen Loveall

October 23, 2010 by Guest

“We doin’ big pimpin, spending G’s…”: Why is this Crime Glamorized?

Disclaimer: The examples and references given in this post in no way suggest that Shared Hope is promoting the below types of memorabilia. We understand curiosity and investigating on behalf of interest; however, we do not recommend the purchase of such items, which could in turn endorse the commercial sex industry.

Jay-Z’s catchy hit from 2000, hasn’t lost any novelty during its ten year run in the music industry. It even costs $1.29 on iTunes—the price reserved for only the most popular songs within the virtual-jukebox—instead of the standard $.99. In a culture where pimps are idealized as wearing bright orange top-hats, luxurious furs and sporting fancy canes, who wouldn’t want to be “doin’ big pimpin’ up in NYC”? I offer two basic reasons why becoming a pimp can be so appealing in 2010, but please remember, my rudimentary analysis is by no means exhaustive. I simply suggest that the promise of being cool and making lots of money can be a deadly combination that has created an enticing outlet for the up-and-coming commercial sex entrepreneur.

It’s bad (that means good)!
The pimp culture doesn’t achieve all of its glorification just from Hip-Hop charts in the music world; the message is pervasive. From books to movies and video games, there is a never-ending list of media promoting the “ghetto-fab” lifestyle. Just ask Border’s bookstore sales representative Margaret Rhatican about her experiences working in a place where you are sure to find the story of A Pimp’s Life within a series of books about “working the streets.” Just in case one needs a little extra guidance, Amazon offers The Pimp Game: Instructional Guide for pimps in training. In the world of cinema, movies like Pimp (2010) and American Pimp (2000) have received rave reviews on IMDd (theInternet Movie Database), and video games like Grand Theft Auto, which allows gamers to virtually beat prostitutes, are top-ranked editors’ picks.

The word pimp in today’s vernacular has come to denote the improvement of just about anything. The growing world of social networks has been enhanced by a plethora of Websites dedicated to the simple pimping of one’s profile on MySpace. The hit MTV show “Pimp My Ride” is often thought of in this context, because who doesn’t want their car equipped with the ability to act as an amphitheater and circus-ride simultaneously? Pimping or to be pimped is merely the process of making something bigger, better, and brighter in our daily jargon. What’s wrong with that? You can even pimp your name on playerappreciate.com. I always thought Rachel was a little boring and needed some spice so I gave it a try. Ghetto Fabulous Rachel Shizzle, Master Fly Moore Loco, Crazy Eyes Rachel Flex, and Vicious D. R. Dogg were just a few of the names I found most interesting. It may seem harmless and exciting to take advantage of these flashy “improvements,” but when pimping is indicated by ridiculousness or flamboyance, it is very easy to forget the darker realities associated with the true connotations of this term.

You make bank (lots of G’s)!

A pimp is not only a member of the “awesome-elite,” he’s rolling in the dough. It’s the most secure job in an un-secure economy. It’s “recession proof,” says Linda Smith in her bookRenting Lacy, because “commercial sex turns out to be one of the few U.S. products produced cheaply.” Why would someone import from elsewhere what they can find right in their own backyard? The product is even more profitable when it can be recycled. In the recent Congressional DMST Hearing, Rep. Carolyn Maloney said it best when she described trafficking humans as heinously convenient. People can be sold over and over and over again, unlike the commodities of the gun or drug trades, which are only one-time sales.

There is no denying that pimping is a lucrative business. This is arguably what makes a pimp so glamorous. “The money is too good. It will never stop. It’s like stopping people from eating. This game will never stop,” were the words of one of the ex-pimps interviewed by DePaul University researcher Jody Raphael and Brenda Myers, Chief Operating Officer of The Dreamcatcher Foundation, in their study, “From Victims to Victimizers: Interviews with 25 Ex-Pimps in Chicago“. Their research estimated that the yearly income for pimps is roughly $150,000-$500,000 a year. That’s just chump change right? Tell that to the trafficker who was making $40,000 a week selling women to satisfy the demands of the gluttonous consumers of sex. Money—the root of all evil according to 1 Timothy 6:10—continues to fuel the fire of this ever-growing market, and doesn’t everyone want to be a millionaire?.

Make it whack! (that means not right)

What can be done to take the glitter and glamor out of the pimp-life? Change the vernacular. Searching the words trafficker, rapist, or abuser does not elicit the same Google images of fur, hats, and fancy canes as the pimp search, but instead, reveals truer depictions of the atrocity associated with each term. This necessary shift will take time and a complete transformation in society’s ingrained perceptions. Would a different approach that could act as a catalyst for such a change be more effective? Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher think it’s possible. They have started a trend focusing on positive reinforcement with the“Real Men Don’t Buy Sex” campaign. The Demi & Ashton Foundation (DNA) wishes to eradicate sex on the Internet in the hopes of rehabilitating the cyber-world to act as a weapon against sex trafficking.

Additionally, is it possible to formulate a pre-emptive strike? If so, education is key, and “by specifically educating and empowering young men, it is possible to decrease the number of people who patronize the commercial sex trade,” according to Allison Dunn Burque of the Chicago Alliance Against Sexual Exploitation (CAASE). That is why she created a curriculum that has the potential of “increasing the number of men who are allies in understanding and challenging the harms of commercial sexual exploitation.” Both the DNA and CAASE realize that society will not end the demand in this industry without the strong and crucial role of men who need to say, “Buying sex is wrong, and even more so, it destroys dignity.”

Make them pay (lots of G’s)
The unfortunate reality is pimps exist, and more often than not, they are not wearing ridiculous costumes, and they most certainly are not interested in upgrading your Toyota. It is also crucial to remember that this role is not restricted to men. A Florida woman was sentenced last week to 2 ½ years for trafficking young girls, and her male accomplice may face 20 years and a $250,000 fine (a mere fraction of their income). Also last week, a Massachusetts woman and her 18-year-old son plead guilty to inducing a child into prostitution. As I said, the “cool reputation” and assurance of wealth aren’t the only incentives in becoming the big pimp that Jay-Z advertises. Familial ties to the life, the history of abuse, and coercion can all be added or tangential factors that lead to one assuming the pimp role.

However, pimping today is attractive and immensely profitable. Many of the Facebook fans of Shared Hope recommend sentencing the sellers of domestic minor sex trafficking victims to a minimum of a life sentence. Is that sufficient? Would that create the necessary cultural shift needed to amend society’s perceptions? I don’t know the answer to that question, but I know it couldn’t hurt. It would definitely be a step in the right direction, because no oneshould be “doin’ big pimpin’.”