portland Archives - Shared Hope International

April 9, 2013 by SHI Staff

Guest Post: A Man to Fight for You (Part 2)

In July of 2012, a Toronto man saved a woman’s life by stopping traffic on a busy interstate as she stepped off of the bridge above it. The coverage explains his behavior as “instinctive.”

[youtuber youtube=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bVsLEqJry4&w=560&h=315′]

But if it were, wouldn’t this heroism happen a lot more? Wouldn’t women feel less helpless and more secure if the men in their lives were physically there to listen, comfort and protect them? The woman from this story was determined to jump into eternity. But just as determined was a stranger that seemed to jump off a page of a Marvel comic book. Why? He noticed her and deemed her worthy to save. Which begs the question: “What made her worthy?”

For a fresh take on why men come to the rescue of women, I brain-picked Superhero film and comic fanatic /Youth Pastor of Horizon Community, David Conlee:

1. What’s your favorite superhero movie, and why?

Iron Man. His character, Tony Stark is deeply flawed, doesn’t have super powers, he’s not an alien, he wasn’t created by some industrial accident. But he’s a man with resources who leverages it all to right the wrongs he sees in the world.

2. Many of these films portray an ordinary man that discovers an injustice and inherently fights it. In 2002’s Spider-Man, Tobey Maguire keeps rescuing Kirsten Dunst, who continually finds herself in sudden danger. Is it instinctive for men to rescue vulnerable women?

I do believe that men desire to be providers…and because of that we want to solve problems, right wrongs, and rescue the “damsel in distress”. Men want to fix things, so when a woman is in trouble it taps into this primal nature to save her and make it right.

3. What about you? Presuming you were able, would you be less likely to rescue an unattractive woman?

Probably at least at a subconscious level. Men are visual processors and physical beauty is a motivator for us. It would depend on who she is and how much I would have to risk to rescue her.

4. What’s your favorite romantic comedy?

I’m a sucker for Pretty Woman (ironic given the subject matter above)!

Remember Lyla from Part 1? This survivor of sex trafficking prefers a sappy romantic comedy to a superhero film any night…27 Dresses being her favorite. They let her visit a world where a girl is actually honored enough to pursue. Where she’s no longer alone. Her boundaries are respected, and he was there “to make her better”. For 90-138 minutes, she’s transported out of reality, and into an almost giddy trance.

Why Not Intervene?

I think of that woman on the bridge and wonder if she felt there was no reason to go on living was because she didn’t believe she was worth a man’s time. Whether it’s a “Good Samaritan” showing deep concern, or her husband or father offering non-performance-based love, I’m convinced that more men have got to intervene.

Men, you can make a conscious decision to intervene when you see a woman in desperate need, attractive or not. In doing so, you destroy the barrier of perceived inequality. She is made in the image of God just as you are, worth just as much as you are.

The barrier of making her prove her worth must be destroyed. How can she prove her worth if she doesn’t realize it herself? Besides, trying to prove one’s own worth is exhausting.

I venture to suggest that she is worthy to be fought for simply because her lungs still hold breath and her life still holds purpose.

Chelan Rene’ Russ is an avid abolitionist, wife, mother, and blogger who lives in Portland, OR with her husband and 2 children. Visit her personal blog here.

April 1, 2013 by SHI Staff

Guest Post: A Man to Fight for You

Guest Post by Chelan Rene’ Russ

When he was little, Ricky battled with what he thought was a series of bad dreams. They would send him into a state of panic. But there was no way he could fight them because he was still asleep. See, they weren’t bad dreams after all. They were actually night terrors.

As he got older, they became more frequent. He married his high school crush and she became instantly aware during those nights, of how he felt attacked. They’d laugh over coffee the next morning, about how he grabbed all the sheets off the bed and paced, breathless, looking for an exit for ten minutes. Other nights, she’d roll onto her side and ask, “what were you choking on this time?” He’d give her an uncomfortable smile and reply with some random object…a needle, a lightbulb, a drinking glass. How ridiculous. But how real it seemed to him in the moment. If only he could fight back the fear in that dreamlike state.

It became a familiar battle against this evil. The terrors would attack without warning and be met with little to no resistance. How unfortunate and a bit embarrassing, I suppose, to be a man and not be able use your God-given ability to fight against fear and evil.

There’s a battle raging that men need to fight in. But they are fighting for another’s freedom, not their own. Thousands of girls are the casualties. They’re fighters, and yes, I’ve met some. But they have only earned that title because a man didn’t fight for them when they needed it most. Those men — their daddies, stepdads, big brothers – were locked away in their own state of self-induced sleep…lulled by a myriad of addictions to mind-numbing substances, porn, denial, work.

Those men, expected to protect her, lost the presence of mind and in many cases even the conviction to fight. Slowly choked out was their ability to discern her worth. And so regardless of the reason, they were not present to fight for her. But what is a man if not a fighter for good? He is as helpless as he is useless.

I spoke with a girl today who longed for that man’s presence as a child. When fair-skinned “Lyla” was five, her daycare provider’s son stole her innocence for a moment of his selfish pleasure. The moments as such recurred in various forms: drugged in a club, exploited on a sidewalk, even restrained on motel sheets by a serial rapist. Her worth felt like a slow drain. Would any man ever treat her with dignity? No matter how she mined for ways, Lyla knew no way out. Her flight or fight instincts took over. And since there was no other man who’d honored her enough to fight for her, she would give it her best shot. It never really sufficed.

“You daydream about it,” She admitted. “You need a hero. You you need someone who is bigger and stronger than you. Someone of the same gender as those who hurt you… but who instead, redeems it all.” The sincerity from her wounds seems to speak, “Wake UP! I know the evil is ugly and it is painful, but please, wake up. Tell us we’re worth fighting for and get up…and do it. Fight for me because they never could. Or never would.” And she whispers, “Give me hope again.”

Chelan Rene’ Russ is an avid abolitionist, wife, mother, and blogger who lives in Portland, OR with her husband and 2 children. Visit her personal blog here.

March 7, 2013 by SHI Staff

Survivor Story: Robin’s Journey to Redemption and Restoration

My name is Robin. I was born in Portland, OR but grew up my whole life across the river, in Vancouver, WA. I was fortunate enough to be raised in a home where I could feel safe and know I was loved. My mother took me to Sunday school and taught me the love of Jesus. Every teacher I ever had liked me and I did we’ll in school. Growing up I was popular, and had a lot of friends.

I became alcoholic after my first drink at 14-years-old. Gradually through my adolescence, I began experimenting with other substances and they became more important to me than school. After miserably failing almost two years of college, I dropped out. I had just turned 21 before I met the man who sold me a dream. The dream turned into a nightmare and the nightmare lasted six years. In those six years I was prostituted up and down the I-5 corridor from Seattle to San Francisco, Los Angeles, Phoenix, Las Vegas, and Honolulu, Hawaii. I walked away from my pimp in 1999, penniless, alcoholic, and addicted to crack-cocaine. I have never gone back to him.

It took me over 12 years away from the life to be strong enough to really look at what had happened to me. I was 21 years old when my pimp walked into my life and because I was an “adult”, I always carried the guilt and shame for “choosing” this lifestyle. I wasn’t ready to look at my past until I learned about my past. Once I learned about my past, I gathered enough strength and humility to tell my story. Telling my story and backing it up with the truths, rather than misconceptions about prostitution, allowed me to heal. When I saw myself as a victim, no matter my age- that’s when I was able to forgive myself and move on.

Defenders were few and far between when I was living in the streets where men bought and sold women and young girls for sex. There was only one Defender who could save me from the bondage of sex-trafficking; that Defender was Jesus! I often wonder if my life would have turned out differently if there were more men of God living as Defenders.

Despite growing up in a good home, learning manners and respect, no one taught me to love or respect myself. When I see men taking the Defender’s pledge today, my heart fills with love and hope for the future; but I don’t see enough men taking the pledge. I want to see our nation’s leaders, our pastors, and our teachers taking the pledge.

I want to see these men teaching our sons how to live as Defenders of women and how to stand up against immorality — without feeling like there is something wrong for doing so. When a man promises not to purchase or participate in pornography, prostitution or any form of the commercial sex industry, demand decreases.

“But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness” (1 Tim 6:11). When a man promises to hold his friends accountable for their actions toward women and children, our daughters become safer and demand decreases. “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (Prov. 27:17). When a man promises to take immediate action to protect those he loves from this destructive market, families are not torn apart and demand decreases. “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Tim 5:8).

When I see men taking the pledge to be a Defender, I see God moving.

Robin became involved with trafficking when she was recruited by a pimp in 1993. After six years of abuse and many near death experiences, she was delivered by her Savior Jesus Christ in 1999. In June 2012, Ms. Miller earned her bachelor’s degree in Social Science from Portland State University. She is active as an advocate for victims of sex-trafficking. Today Robin is the volunteer coordinator and receptionist for a non-profit organization in Vancouver, WA.