The Defenders USA Archives - Page 9 of 12 - Shared Hope International

October 29, 2012 by SHI Staff

Trafficking Awareness: The Power of Education

Thanks for checking out this blog. I hope you walk away from this post learning a little about the commercial sex industry, and how to deal with personal addictions.

I just finished watching a TV Mini-series called Human Trafficking. Made in 2005, this fictionalized series brutally but authentically illustrated the seriousness of international human slavery.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt so overwhelmed while watching a movie in my life. I’d recommend it to anyone who wants to learn about the severity of trafficking, but keep in mind that it made my stomach churn, and at some points I felt nauseous. It is an incredibly raw series. Regardless of how hard it is to watch, it illustrates the brutality of the commercial sex industry so well.

This brings me to this week’s topic: education. When I say education, I’m not speaking of going to school (though I do think that is important!). Education is taking the time to learn the facts about a specific topic, and in our case, we are taking time to learn the brutal reality of sex trafficking. Through movies like Human Trafficking, survivor stories, and blogs like this, you can participate in very needed education.

As Defenders, we have all taken a pledge. Part one of that pledge says “I will not participate in pornography, prostitution or any form of the commercial sex industry.” Now, I think guys would all agree that part one of this pledge is way easier said than done. You see, the commercial sex industry works like a drug. The chemicals in your brain begin to spin as you indulge, and you leave the experience getting a very temporary wave of good feelings. This leads you to constantly desire more and more, and after a very short amount of time, your body can be addicted to the temporary good feelings that these experiences provide.

That being said, what if I told you that the addiction to the commercial sex industry could be avoided or healed? What if I told you that those temporary good feelings would no longer feel good? Thats where education comes in to play.

As a Defender, I hope you’ve realized that the commercial sex industry has more brutality to it than meets the eye (if you are unfamiliar with the common myths of the sex industry, go here). As you can see through videos like this, where survivors share the facts, the industry is awful. Girls are hurt. Girls are raped. Some girls even die. Girls are locked in rooms like prisoners. They are slaves. Through learning the facts and being willing to be educated on this topic, your feelings on the commercial sex industry will begin to change.

I can say from personal experience that once you are educated, the commercial sex industry begins to stop producing those very temporary waves of good feelings. When you go to indulge, you can remember the facts. You can remember the brutality. More importantly, you can remember the girls. And from personal experience I can say that when you go to indulge, remembering the education you have puts a halt to your desire to indulge in any kind of commercial sex, whether that be pornography, prostitution, or any method of commercial sex. Your mind goes from being a consumer to a person who cares. By remembering the facts, your heart can move from objectifying women to respecting them.

So, in conclusion, I know from personal experience the power that education offers. Be educated, and educate others. You’d be surprised what kind of difference it can make. Remember the facts. Lets honor part one of our pledge.

For more educational resources, you can see this article by Abolition Now.

September 25, 2012 by SHI Staff

Story of a New Defender

Hello, Defenders! Thanks for checking out our blog.

My name is Ethan Morrow, and I am a fellow Defender. I became a Defender about one month ago, and my life hasn’t been the same since. I learned about the Defenders through my school, Warner Pacific College, and since then the Defenders has become a huge part of my life. In fact, I recently signed on to become a Defenders intern, where I will be offering my experience to help get Defenders active, educated, and encouraged.

Part of my background involves working as a computer teacher for the past four years, engaging students with the ever-changing technological world. I also spend a good amount of my time creating an online presence that inspires others to follow their dreams and discover their passions. I make an effort to live my life passionately, share my heart openly with others (through social media and personal interaction), and hopefully inspire others to do the same.

I am very excited about the launch of our new Defenders video, and the relaunch of our “Take the Pledge” campaign. To me, pledging to be a Defender is more than just a pledge. When you pledge, you are becoming a hero. You are standing up for the injustices of this world. You are caring for the broken, and you are changing the world one promise at a time.

The world of the commercial sex industry is filled with pain and abuse. I believe it objectifies women, and it turns them into animals for the sick pleasure of men. Not only that, but its proven through studies that the commercial sex industry slowly changes your mind, both chemically and emotionally; it lowers your respect for women, increases your sex drive (in a negative way), and slowly disfigures your understanding of love and what a true relationship with a woman looks like. This isn’t a myth. Indulging in the commercial sex industry changes your brain chemistry, and completely degrades women.

But hope isn’t completely lost. Restoration can happen, and prevention can happen. Ultimately, this industry can be eliminated. By taking the pledge, you are committing to change your life. You are committing to take a stand against the violation of women. You are committing to spread love and care.

Through the Defenders Facebook page, our blog, our twitter feed, and other social media, I’m excited that we can create a community of support for guys who have taken the pledge. We can educate each other, share stories, and fight against the violation of women. So, I encourage you to have your friends take the pledge. Support each other. Meet with each other and educate each other. Care for your family.

Let’s be heroes—let’s be Defenders.

[youtuber vimeo=’https://vimeo.com/48097600′]

September 15, 2012 by SHI Staff

A Personal Experience with the Defender’s Pledge

I am deeply passionate about this issue of sex slavery. I have three little girls of my own and I cannot imagine any of them going through what many of the girls saved by Shared Hope have gone through. I am so grateful for the work that Shared Hope is doing and I want to thank you for taking a strong stand as a man to see this horrible injustice come to an end.

As for how the pledge is working out in my daily life, I can say that I am doing my best. I have abstained from pornography, prostitution and any form of commercial sex . . . to the point that I hardly even watch television or movies any longer. Sex is used in almost every form of commercial entertainment and marketing, it is almost inescapable, but we must try to avoid it at all costs—even if that means canceling our cable, passing on the latest movie and choosing to skip the magazine aisle in the grocery store, whatever it takes.

I could do a better job of holding my friends accountable for their actions toward women and children. I know everyone around me knows where I stand on the issue, but I wish I were more outspokenon the issue. I am continuing to pray for boldness in that area.

I feel I am taking action to protect those I love from this market. I am trying to instill in my little girls an understanding that they are beautiful because they are created in the image of God, not because the culture or anyone else tells them so. I don’t want them to ever fall into the trap of being more concerned with their outside beauty than what is on the inside. I know that sounds like a cliché but I believe that is one of the fundamental lies that lead girls and young women into the commercial sex lifestyle.

Aaron

August 15, 2012 by SHI Staff

Defenders Guest Blog: The MST Project

My name is Jon Bean and I along with Steve Neyman make up the staff of the MST Project – Stateside. My journey toward the MST Project began early in life when I encountered pornography for the first time. I really had no idea what it was, just that I liked it. Oh, and I felt very, very ashamed.

This cycle of pleasure followed by shame became a constant habit for me. It took on many different forms but that cycle was always there. I heard a lot of judgment directed at me as well as others that shared my struggle as I went through life and that just succeeded in driving me further into myself, which was a bad place to be.

I tried accountability which I still do to this day but that only worked as long as I had the commitment to be completely honest and too many times my need for secrecy as well as a newly blossoming need to feel affirmed by others usually derailed those efforts. As I spiraled down, I started to feel like it was hopeless, that there was no chance that I would ever see freedom. This led me down paths of anger, apathy, isolation, fear, even suicidal thoughts.

I tried to lead this double life of addiction in private, while still balancing a healthy seeming life in public. One of the most destructive things about sex addiction is that there are no outward symptoms that people can look at and see that something isn’t right. If you can lie, you can hide.

A combination of things has contributed to my path to freedom including the forgiveness of my family and others that I hurt. An intellectual understanding of Gods grace, combined with a direct and personal experience of that grace in my life. I have seen that grace demonstrated by my wife and friends and I have seen it demonstrated by men who understood and cared about my healing and restoration.

It wasn’t an overnight process and it wasn’t just one man. It was a series of honest and open relationships based on compassion, honesty, and hope for what my heart could be when I allowed God to change it.

The men and women that make up the staff of the MST project come to this from different perspectives. We don’t have identical life experiences but what we do share is a compassion for men and a desire that will have a chance to experience the change that only God can make to their hearts.

We have heard some say that there isn’t really a point to this, that men don’t want to change and we should just leave them alone. We don’t agree. We have all experienced on a personal level the restoration and redemption that only God can give. We see this as a responsibility to take this message of love and redemption to men, one by one, and meet them where they are. We don’t wait. The love of God brought to them in a place and in a way that they don’t expect can have a powerful effect. We know that God’s love is available to all people in all places and we don’t have any other option but to put that into practice.

We know that God is not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance. That includes broken and hurting men in red light districts, men looking at porn or visiting strip clubs or however they try to medicate this brokenness. This is why we choose to take that message of God’s hope, healing, grace, and love to them.

Jon Bean is on staff with The MST Project – Stateside along with Steve Neyman. You can find them online at www.mstproject.com, on Twitter at @jonmstp and @stevemstp or on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/pages/MST-Project-Stateside

August 2, 2012 by SHI Staff

From Strip Club Frequenter to Defender

Testimony: From Strip Club Frequenter to Defender
By: Henry J. Rogers

I’ll never forget the first topless dancer that I spoke with honestly. Her name was Stephanie. In the past, I had many deceitful conversations with dancers whose names I no longer remember. I was dishonest with them, portraying myself as an encourager and someone who cared. I was living a lie. All I really wanted to know was what they would do for me.

The dancers were deceitful, too. They were always very complimentary. I was strong, I was handsome, and I was funny. They said those things, but they didn’t believe them. All they wanted was what was in my back pocket. For them it was about money. For me it was about lust. Sitting at a table in a smoke-filled club were two wounded people hurting each other while pretending to care.

When I met Stephanie, I finally knew the horrible truth. Our lunch meeting lasted an hour and yet eight years later, I still remember the restaurant and the entire conversation. When I asked Stephanie how she felt about the men who came into these places, she started talking faster and louder and then in this crowded restaurant she burst into tears and said, “I hate them.”

When I got back to work my boss asked me how the meeting went and I couldn’t speak. I began to cry because for the very first time in my life I knew that women had to die emotionally to fulfill my lust.

Today I am a Defender. It’s the role men have been called to fill. It’s a pledge worth making and it’s a pledge worth keeping. Being a Defender is living a life of integrity and purity. We’re men who take seriously our role to be protectors and providers. Yet being a Defender is more than a label, it’s also a lifestyle. To live the life of a Defender, we have to be on guard by setting boundaries that will help us guard and protect ourselves as we live lives worthy of our calling.

Below are some boundaries that I have found helpful:

Travel with Care. When I travel I will ask the clerk at the counter if they offer pornographic movies. If they say they do, I ask them to disconnect the channels before I walk in the room. I know I can do it with the remote control, but I take this opportunity to speak the truth in love and tell the clerk or manger how this temptation can impact the lives of men.
When I travel I also bring a family picture with me that I put on top of the TV set and I make sure to call my wife each day I am on the road.
Enter on Guard. When I walk into a convenience store, if I discover that they sell pornographic magazines, I will walk back out. Though I may not be tempted to buy one, I don’t even want to be tempted to look at one. If I see a cover I know I will see a picture of a smiling woman. I don’t want to ever again be deceived by the lie. When I walk out, I also have the opportunity to speak the truth in love to the sales clerk.
Speak with Integrity. My battle would be lonely if I didn’t have other men who know what tempts me. I have honest and confidential relationships with two men who know the very best about me and the very worst. They ask me the tough questions each week that I need to answer. One of the questions is, “Have you exposed yourself to any explicit material this week?” Knowing they care gives me strength in times of temptation.
Block with Intention. I have told many men that a computer at home with unblocked Internet access is a fall waiting to happen. Sadly, many teen boys today have unblocked Internet access in their bedroom. The question is not, “Will he find porn?” The questions are, “When will he find porn and what will he do when he finds it?” There are several effective filters that can help men protect their homes. Unfortunately, we let people in our homes through the computer screen that we would not let walk in the front door.
Switch with Conviction. The days of “Leave it to Beaver” and “My Three Sons” are long gone. Today sex is a frequent topic of conversation on TV. I need to guard my eye-gate and my ear-gate. To do that I have this wonderful tool called a remote control. When a scene comes on TV that I don’t need to see or listen to, I switch the channel. If I have to do that three times with the same program, they strike out and fall off the list of acceptable shows for family viewing.
Love with Passion. The porn industry has a warped view of love. For me to love my wife, I need to be a man of integrity. For me to love my children, I need to model for them a man of integrity. I need to be passionate about the people I love and show them what it means to be a Defender in a sexually obsessed culture.
Review with Regularity. I keep a list of answers to this important question. “If I continue to give in to sexual temptation, these are the consequences I may face in the future.” I have 19 items on my list and there is not one that is worth the cost of stumbling. Take a few minutes and answer the question for yourself. Be exhaustive with your list and determine the cost of giving in to sexual temptation. You’ll quickly find that giving in to sexual temptation will bring a price that is not worth paying

Do well Defender, there is much at stake.

Henry J. Rogers is the Corporate Chaplain for Interstate Batteries in Dallas, Texas. He serves on the President’s Council for Dallas Theological Seminary and on the boards for World Impact – Dallas, Children’s Hope Chest, and as chairman of the board for Probe Ministries. He is the author of “The Silent War – Ministering to those trapped in the deception of pornography.” He has been on TV and radio discussing the porn problem in America with Beverly LaHaye, Kay Arthur, D. James Kennedy, Dr. Richard Land, Kerby Anderson and many others. He is also the co-author of “Real Stuff: A Survivor’s Guide” for teen girls.

He and his wife Kathy live in Garland, Texas and have four children, Gabrielle, Whitney and Henry, Jr. and Zoya. They attend Rowlett Bible Fellowship in Rowlett, Texas.