Shared Hope International

Leading a worldwide effort to eradicate sexual slavery...one life at a time

  • The Problem
    • What is Sex Trafficking?
    • FAQs
    • Glossary of Terms
  • What We Do
    • Prevent
      • Training
      • Awareness
    • Restore
      • Programs
      • 3rd Party Service Providers
      • Stories of Hope
      • Partners
    • Bring Justice:Institute for Justice & Advocacy
      • Research
      • Report Cards
      • Training
      • Advocacy
  • Resources
    • All Resources
    • Internet Safety
    • Policy Research and Resources
    • Store
  • Take Action
    • Activism
    • Advocate
    • Just Like Me
    • Volunteer
    • Give
  • News&Events
    • Blog & Events
    • Media Center
    • Request a Speaker
    • Host an Event
    • Attend an Event
  • About
    • Our Mission and Values
    • Our Story
    • Financial Accountability
    • 2023 Annual Report
    • Leadership
    • Join Our Team
    • Contact Us
  • Conference
  • Donate
Home>Archives for The Defenders USA

December 21, 2012 by SHI Staff

Defenders in Tragedy

The events of last week were tragic for all of us, and most definitely traumatizing. A shooting in Milwaukie, Oregon, a shooting at the Clackamas Town Center in Clackamas, Oregon, and of course you have all heard about the events in Newtown. Many lives were lost last week, and that is hard for anyone. As a nation, we are heartbroken. All around the country, people are mourning for this tragic event.

Today I was sitting at my desk asking myself what these events mean for us as Defenders. They aren’t related to human trafficking at all, and they nothing to do with ending the demand, so what does this mean for us as Defenders? As I asked myself this question, I turned my attention to our vlog where Vern Smith, the founder of the Defenders, talks about why he started this organization. In that vlog, Vern says “it’s part of a man’s nature to want to be a Defender,” and I realized that now, in the midst of these tragic events, I think it is even more important for us to stand up and Defend the women and children around us.

I’m not just talking about ending the demand for commercial sexual exploitation. In this context I’m talking about supporting and defending the families who lost their loved ones; I’m talking about holding our children tighter, and appreciating every moment with them; I’m talking about being a healer of brokenness.

I did some research on how we as Defenders can stand up and defend our families and those affected in Newtown, and this is what I came up with. First of all, an article by Psych Central says that it is important to adjust to these events at your own pace. Turn off your TV and social media if you have to. Don’t adjust at the pace of the media. Mourn and grieve on your own timeline. That article also provides more great advice on how to handle these events on a personal level.

Check out this article by ABCNews if you want information on how to contribute financially to the families who lost loved ones. Finally, if you and your family would like to write a letter to the families in Newtown, the US Post Office has opened a box for that purpose alone. You can send your letters to the following address:

Messages of Condolence for Newtown
PO Box 3700
Newtown, CT 06470 

Again, I know that these events are not related to human trafficking, but regardless, as Defenders we can make a difference and support those who need support. This is my call to action. In a time of national grief, we can bring about healing and restoration. We can be healers. We can be Defenders.

December 12, 2012 by SHI Staff

Overcoming the Past: Understanding Through Renting Lacy

Guest Blog Post by Zen Loveall

False beliefs: I use to think that porn, strip clubs, and affairs were all O.K.  I thought this was just part of being a guy. I use to think that my wife’s inability to satisfy me sexually was due to a problem with her. I am not hurting anyone. Women in porn and strip clubs want to do what they are doing and I am helping my mistresses by giving them the sex that they need. TV, movies, bars, clubs, advertising, magazines, and the Internet all fully supported these false beliefs.

What was my reality? I was using sex and fantasy for the wrong things and so too much would never be enough. Regular porn, and small amounts use to be O.K., but over time I needed more and more. Eventually, I was a walking dead man that lost total control of his sexual desires, living a fantasy life in my head, destroying my marriage, causing deep harm to the women that came into my life, all while supporting an industry that destroys women and children.

I was afraid of feeling my feelings and I had a lot of bad feelings. I did not understand that you can’t stop the bad feelings without stopping the good ones. I used the objectification of women and fantasy as an escape. Eventually I had no feelings…I was like a walking dead man.  I wanted intimacy but bought into the myth that sex with a woman was intimacy. Sure it is a form of physical intimacy, but it is not real intimacy. You cannot have true intimacy with an object and that is what women had become for me. When I was out with my wife or friends I would just check out all the women in the room and spin fantasies in my mind around how these “objects” could satisfy me.

After I started to come out of my delusion, it took me years to turn this around. For over 15 years in my marriage, I made my wife feel less than and defective because she could not meet my insatiable sexual needs.  I will have to spend the rest of my life trying to make up for that crime. I spent years in recovery groups around sex and I always use to wonder why don’t I see more strippers and prostitutes in recovery? The book “Renting Lacy” helped me to understand this. Very few of these young women make it into recovery because most of them die.  The movie “The Whistleblower” also helped me to understand what I was contributing to.

When I read the book “Renting Lacy” and contemplated all the women and children suffering from this I cried and cried. I can never make that right, but I can support groups like Shared Hope and The Defenders and continue to come out of my delusion, learn to respect women as people, and continue to learn to be present and truly alive.

– Zen Loveall

December 6, 2012 by SHI Staff

Bringing Peace to the Broken

I recently did a biblical word study on the word peace. It occurs over 370 times in the bible, which means it is a pretty important term in God’s eyes. The concept of peace occurs more than the word grace, more than joy, and even more than justice. It’s a pretty significant concept.

In my studies of peace, I immediately became entranced by its complexity and its beauty. I realized that this idea, this concept of peace, is how God created the world and it’s what he desires for all of us. The Hebrews call this term shalom and the Greeks call it eirene. A lot of societies take an aspect of peace, and make it the whole idea, whether that be absence of war, internal wholeness, or something else. But peace is more than that. Peace is a beautiful, holistic term, that can barely be described in human terms. When I studied this term, I was brought to tears as I looked at its beauty. So, here is what peace means: Total well-being. Prosperity. Security. Completeness. Wholeness.

Need I say more? Those words when put together are beautiful. But why am I writing about peace in the context of a human trafficking awareness organization? That seems kind of odd. How could there be peace in the midst of something as brutal as the commercial sex industry? Is there even peace at all in this chaotic, broken world? Well, I was asking myself the same question when doing my research.

I couldn’t see the peace in such a brutal industry. Will there ever be peace? Well, a few weeks ago I was asked to compile a slideshow commemorating Shared Hope’s year, and I saw peace. In this slideshow, I saw over 30,000 gathering to stop the commercial sex industry and put an end to human trafficking. I saw advocates from all over the world putting an end to this injustice. I saw recovering survivors smiling and interacting with people again. I saw a survivor getting married! And then I saw a room full of Defenders, gathering together in training to learn more about the industry so we can end the demand and educate our families.

While watching this slideshow, I was in tears. I realized that while well-being, prosperity, security, completeness, and wholeness aren’t completely happening right now (and we still have a lot of work to get to that point) — we are still gathering together to make that happen. Together, as Defenders and fellow advocates, we are working towards the recovery of victims and providing a sense of well-being  we are working towards prosperity; we are working towards security, and we are working towards completeness and wholeness. That is beautiful to me. It’s exciting, and it makes me cry when I think about it.

So this is really a blog post of thanks. Thank you to every Defender and advocate out there who is working to bring about peace. You really are making a difference. Thanks for your desire to make this world a better place and heal the things that are broken. Together, we can end demand and bring peace to the broken.

 

-Ethan Morrow

A Fellow Defender

 

 To learn more about Shared Hope’s impact in 2012, go here.

October 29, 2012 by SHI Staff

Sharing Your Adventure: Loving One Another Enough to Hold Each Other Accountable

Love. Care. Tenderness. Support. These are all character qualities that are essential to the Defenders. These qualities in my mind all describe one important value of the Defenders: accountability. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, accountability means “an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions.”

I always grew up with the term “brother’s keeper.” Brother’s Keeper is a simple term that means you love someone enough to hold them accountable to their actions. In my experience, accountability is only successfully done when both parties hold each other accountable out of common love for the wellbeing of the other person. Part two of The Defenders Pledge says “I will hold my friends accountable for their actions towards women and children.”

Women and Children deserve respect. They deserve to be honored, and we should treat them with that in mind. Human Trafficking and commercial sex takes advantage of women, makes them our objects, and that in no way is right. Out of love for our friends and the women and children who are involved in the industry, should we not hold each other accountable and stay away from that? Out of love and care for the wellbeing of our fellow men, should we not hold each other accountable to our actions? Should we not challenge each other? That’s why part two of the Defenders pledge exists. Out of love and respect for women and children, indulging in the commercial sex industry is clearly not an option.

But as I’ve said in previous blog posts, commercial sex can be an addictive indulgence. It can consume our lives, and pretty soon, quitting this terrible indulgence is harder than we thought. That is also where accountability comes in.Accountability can work as a powerful sword. Holding our fellow men accountable to their actions can fight those desires to indulge, and for some, completely eliminate them. For many, accountability also becomes a shield, which defends our hearts and restores our minds. I’ve experienced this effect personally through a Men’s group which I’ve called Men Mentoring Men.

This group consists of 5-8 men who are committed to meeting once each week to talk about life. We talk about the highs, lows, and struggles of the past week–both sexually and relationally. This group helps men grow in relationship with each other, and restore a healthy view of relationships and sexuality. We laugh, we cry, and we celebrate. This group creates a sword and shield for men who are struggling with commercial sex. It allows men to be vulnerable, and to acknowledge the pain in their life. Ultimately, this group effectively restores our desire to honor and respect women and children.

In a few weeks a new resource will be made available to all men. This resource, which I have compiled and created myself, will walk any guy through the process of creating a Men Mentoring Men accountability group. It is my strong belief that every guy needs at least one other guy to hold them accountable. Every guy needs support, care, and love. Every guy needs a close, supportive friend. Every guy needs accountability.

October 29, 2012 by SHI Staff

It’s a Drug

In the past week, two large events have taken place in Portland to help end human trafficking. Exactly a week ago, the 2-day Do You Know Lacy? sex trafficking awareness training took place. The training had over 200 attendees. Just yesterday an event called ConnectPDX took place, where organizations from all over the Pacific Northwest gathered to create a common plan to end human trafficking. This next blog post is a compilation of my thoughts from these events.

I could write pages and pages about the wisdom that was shared, but today i’m going to focus on something related to the Defenders. But before I begin, here is a reminder of what our Defenders pledge is:

1.    I will not participate in pornography, prostitution, or any form of the commercial sex industry.

2.    I will hold my friends accountable for their actions toward women and children.

3.    I will take immediate action to protect those I love from this destructive market.

Shamere McKenzie, a sex trafficking survivor, says this about men:

“Men–Understand. Understand what it is to be a man. Understand why a woman was created from your rib. Understand that a women was not taken from your head to be on top of you, or your feet to be below you, but from your rib to be beside you. Men need to stand up and be Defenders for women.”

Ultimately, as Shamere pointed out, it’s men that need to stand up and defend women. These girls are being violated, and we cannot just sit here. Men have to rise up and stop this issue. After all, are we not the demand for this brutal business? And if we are the demand, are we not the cure as well? We are the ones that have to stop this problem. (For more information on the supply and demand culture, I recommend you watch this video by our friends at the EPIK Project)

Men, when it comes to ending the trafficking in this world, it’s our job. As a fellow Defender pointed out at the Do You Know Lacy? training, we have absolutely no right–ever–to disrespect any human being. When we look at pornography, go to the strip club, or purchase a prostitute, we are objectifying these women. We are completely taking away their rights, saying that they are ours for the taking.

I want to take some time to talk about pornography. After all, that’s not related to trafficking at all, right? Well, as I’ve done my research on pornography, I’ve found that they are completely intertwined. As it turns out, you cannot have one without the other. To put it simply, pornography is simply the pictures or videos of the prostitution. Ultimately, if you are supporting pornography, you are supporting trafficking. in some way.

What if I told you that pimps used pornography to train the little innocent 12-year-old girls on how to treat the client? What if I told you that pornography is used by pimps to advertise their girls, and what if I told you that buyers often demand that the little girls do the acts that they saw in the pornography they viewed? All of these are true. It happens, and It’s real.

If that doesn’t convince you pornography and trafficking are intertwined, lets talk about science.

In the drug world, marijuana is referred to as the gateway drug. People call it this because of a thing called habituation. When a person experiences the high that marijuana offers, their brain falls in love with it, and of course they continue to use it because it satisfies them so much. Eventually, habituation kicks in and his/her brain gets used to the high that marijuana offers. After a while, the marijuana high no longer satisfies the person, so he/she has to move on to something more powerful. This cycle continues on forever.

Pornography works the same way. It’s actually proven that the same chemicals are spinning in your brain when you indulge in pornography. When you view pornography, you get a certain “high,” but eventually that kind of pornography doesn’t please you anymore, and you have to move on to something even more hardcore. Pretty soon, pornography won’t even please you, and that’s when people move on to the more physical things, like prostitution and private strip clubs shows. This is not a slippery slope argument; this is a scientific fact.

So, where do we go from here? I hope you have realized that pornography is deeply intertwined with human trafficking. If you have, and you struggle with sexual addiction, know that there is hope. As Defenders we can support each other, and acknowledging that you have this addiction is the first step towards healing. If you haven’t already, take the pledge, and then get friends to join you. Support each other. Create a men’s support group.

In the words of a fellow Defender, Nick Lembo, “We are supposed to be sexual beings. But when you take it outside of what it’s supposed to be, lives are ruined.”

Together, we can end demand. We are Defenders.

  • < Previous Page
  • 1
  • …
  • 6
  • 7
  • 8
  • 9
  • 10
  • …
  • 12
  • Next Page >
  • What We Do
  • Newsletter Signup
  • Take Action
  • Donate
Shared Hope International
Charity Navigator Four-Star Rating

STORE | WEBINARS | REPORTCARDS | JuST CONFERENCE
 
Donate

1-866-437-5433
Facebook X Instagram YouTube Linkedin

Models Used to Protect Identities.

Copyright © 2025 Shared Hope International      |     P.O. Box 1907 Vancouver, WA 98668-1907     |     1-866-437-5433     |     Privacy Policy   |   Terms of Service

Manage your privacy
SHARED HOPE INTERNATIONAL DOES NOT SELL YOUR DATA. To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
Manage options
{title} {title} {title}
Shared Hope InternationalLogo Header Menu
  • The Problem
    • What is Sex Trafficking?
    • FAQs
    • Glossary of Terms
  • What We Do
    • Prevent
      • Training
      • Awareness
    • Restore
      • Programs
      • 3rd Party Service Providers
      • Stories of Hope
      • Partners
    • Bring Justice:Institute for Justice & Advocacy
      • Research
      • Report Cards
      • Training
      • Advocacy
  • Resources
    • All Resources
    • Internet Safety
    • Policy Research and Resources
    • Store
  • Take Action
    • Activism
    • Advocate
    • Just Like Me
    • Volunteer
    • Give
  • News&Events
    • Blog & Events
    • Media Center
    • Request a Speaker
    • Host an Event
    • Attend an Event
  • About
    • Our Mission and Values
    • Our Story
    • Financial Accountability
    • 2023 Annual Report
    • Leadership
    • Join Our Team
    • Contact Us
  • Conference
  • Donate