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Overcoming the Past: Understanding Through Renting Lacy

Guest Blog Post by Zen Loveall

False beliefs: I use to think that porn, strip clubs, and affairs were all O.K.  I thought this was just part of being a guy. I use to think that my wife’s inability to satisfy me sexually was due to a problem with her. I am not hurting anyone. Women in porn and strip clubs want to do what they are doing and I am helping my mistresses by giving them the sex that they need. TV, movies, bars, clubs, advertising, magazines, and the Internet all fully supported these false beliefs.

What was my reality? I was using sex and fantasy for the wrong things and so too much would never be enough. Regular porn, and small amounts use to be O.K., but over time I needed more and more. Eventually, I was a walking dead man that lost total control of his sexual desires, living a fantasy life in my head, destroying my marriage, causing deep harm to the women that came into my life, all while supporting an industry that destroys women and children.

I was afraid of feeling my feelings and I had a lot of bad feelings. I did not understand that you can’t stop the bad feelings without stopping the good ones. I used the objectification of women and fantasy as an escape. Eventually I had no feelings…I was like a walking dead man.  I wanted intimacy but bought into the myth that sex with a woman was intimacy. Sure it is a form of physical intimacy, but it is not real intimacy. You cannot have true intimacy with an object and that is what women had become for me. When I was out with my wife or friends I would just check out all the women in the room and spin fantasies in my mind around how these “objects” could satisfy me.

After I started to come out of my delusion, it took me years to turn this around. For over 15 years in my marriage, I made my wife feel less than and defective because she could not meet my insatiable sexual needs.  I will have to spend the rest of my life trying to make up for that crime. I spent years in recovery groups around sex and I always use to wonder why don’t I see more strippers and prostitutes in recovery? The book “Renting Lacy” helped me to understand this. Very few of these young women make it into recovery because most of them die.  The movie “The Whistleblower” also helped me to understand what I was contributing to.

When I read the book “Renting Lacy” and contemplated all the women and children suffering from this I cried and cried. I can never make that right, but I can support groups like Shared Hope and The Defenders and continue to come out of my delusion, learn to respect women as people, and continue to learn to be present and truly alive.

– Zen Loveall

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Media & News Coverage 2012

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Archives – 2015 – 2014 – 2013 – 2012 – 2011

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Bringing Peace to the Broken

I recently did a biblical word study on the word peace. It occurs over 370 times in the bible, which means it is a pretty important term in God’s eyes. The concept of peace occurs more than the word grace, more than joy, and even more than justice. It’s a pretty significant concept.

In my studies of peace, I immediately became entranced by its complexity and its beauty. I realized that this idea, this concept of peace, is how God created the world and it’s what he desires for all of us. The Hebrews call this term shalom and the Greeks call it eirene. A lot of societies take an aspect of peace, and make it the whole idea, whether that be absence of war, internal wholeness, or something else. But peace is more than that. Peace is a beautiful, holistic term, that can barely be described in human terms. When I studied this term, I was brought to tears as I looked at its beauty. So, here is what peace means: Total well-being. Prosperity. Security. Completeness. Wholeness.

Need I say more? Those words when put together are beautiful. But why am I writing about peace in the context of a human trafficking awareness organization? That seems kind of odd. How could there be peace in the midst of something as brutal as the commercial sex industry? Is there even peace at all in this chaotic, broken world? Well, I was asking myself the same question when doing my research.

I couldn’t see the peace in such a brutal industry. Will there ever be peace? Well, a few weeks ago I was asked to compile a slideshow commemorating Shared Hope’s year, and I saw peace. In this slideshow, I saw over 30,000 gathering to stop the commercial sex industry and put an end to human trafficking. I saw advocates from all over the world putting an end to this injustice. I saw recovering survivors smiling and interacting with people again. I saw a survivor getting married! And then I saw a room full of Defenders, gathering together in training to learn more about the industry so we can end the demand and educate our families.

While watching this slideshow, I was in tears. I realized that while well-being, prosperity, security, completeness, and wholeness aren’t completely happening right now (and we still have a lot of work to get to that point) — we are still gathering together to make that happen. Together, as Defenders and fellow advocates, we are working towards the recovery of victims and providing a sense of well-being  we are working towards prosperity; we are working towards security, and we are working towards completeness and wholeness. That is beautiful to me. It’s exciting, and it makes me cry when I think about it.

So this is really a blog post of thanks. Thank you to every Defender and advocate out there who is working to bring about peace. You really are making a difference. Thanks for your desire to make this world a better place and heal the things that are broken. Together, we can end demand and bring peace to the broken.

 

-Ethan Morrow

A Fellow Defender

 

 To learn more about Shared Hope’s impact in 2012, go here.

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National Study Reveals Top Seven States that Protect Against Child Trafficking

A National Call To Action Spurs 44 States to Strengthen Child Trafficking Laws

Press Release: Protected Innocence Challenge Grade Announcement 11 29 12

Arlington, VA—Sweeping national legislative advancements proved successful for Louisiana, Florida and Georgia who will join the ranks of Illinois, Missouri, Texas and Washington in leading the nation with laws that provide protection and justice to child victims of domestic minor sex trafficking, according to research released Nov. 29, 2012 by Shared Hope International.

Recent findings from the 2012 Protected Innocence Challenge Report, the first comprehensive study on state child sex trafficking laws, show 15 states have raised their grades by enacting legislation that strengthened laws that impact or relate to domestic minor sex trafficking. In addition to the seven leading states listed above that scored a “B” on the 2012 report, nine states earned a “C,” compared to only six in 2011. In 2012, 35 states received grades of “D” or lower, including 18 failing grades— a significant improvement from the 2011 scores with 41 states receiving a grade of “D” or lower and 26 failing states.

The release of the Protected Innocence Challenge report is being hosted in conjuncture with Sharing the Hope 2012, a three-day event that includes training, the National Colloquium, a forum of national experts on the issue of shelter and service provision for child victims of trafficking, and the Sharing the Hope Gala and Pathbreaker Award Ceremony honoring Ernie Allen, President and CEO of the International Centre for Missing and Exploited Children; Drew Oosterbaan, Chief, Child Exploitation and Obscenity Section (CEOS) of the U.S. Department of Justice; Amy O’Neill Richard, Senior Advisor to the Director in the State Department’s Office to Monitor and Combat Trafficking in Persons; and Deborah Richardson, Executive Vice President of the National Center for Civil and Human Rights.

“In 2011, Shared Hope International challenged each state to review the laws on its books and the impact they are having on local children.” Linda Smith, President and Founder of Shared Hope International said. “Advocates around the nation united, forming coalitions, legislative review committees, and petitions to strengthen their states laws. Citizens showed they want stronger laws on the books and their efforts proved successful.”

“For me the Protected Innocence Challenge signifies liberation from a life of slavery with the opportunity for the oppressed to pursue the American dream of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” Shamere McKenzie, Program Assistant, Shared Hope International and Survivor Advocate said.

Every year in the United States, experts estimate at least 100,000 children are exploited in the U.S. commercial sex industry. The average age a child is first exploited through prostitution is 13 years old.

RESEARCH HIGHLIGHTS

1. 15 states improved their grades from 2011

  • 2 states went up two grades: AK and MA went from F to C
  • 13 states went up one grade
  • 3 new “B” states: LA, FL, GA
  • 6 new “C” states: AK, IN, MA, OH, OK, WI
  • 6 new “D” states: CO, MD, NE, NV, SC, UT

2.  7 states improved their Protected Innocence Challenge scores by 10+ points

  • MA went up 29.5 pts
  • WV went up 21 pts
  • LA went up 17 pts
  • SC went up 17 pts
  • AK went up 14.5 pts
  • OH went up 12 pts
  • WI went up 10 pts

3.  States were scored based on six categories of law. Scores by area of law – states have achieved perfect scores in sections 1 and 6, with “near perfect” scores in the other areas of law:

  • Section 1 (Criminalization of Domestic Minor Sex Trafficking): IL and TX have perfect scores (10 points possible)
  • Section 2 (Criminal Provisions Addressing Demand): LA now has a “near perfect” score with 24.5 points (25 points possible)
  • Section 3 (Criminal Provisions for Traffickers): MS, KY, FL and AL have a “near perfect” score with 14.5 points (15 points possible)
  • Section 4 (Criminal Provisions for Facilitators): LA and WA have a “near perfect” score with 9.5 points (10 points possible)
  • Section 5 (Protected Provisions for Child Victims): IL is the closest to a “near perfect” score with 24.5 points (27.5 points possible)
  • Section 6 (Criminal Justice Tools for Investigation and Prosecution): AL, MN, OH and TX have perfect scores (15 points possible)
4. Most Improved = MA
5. Highest Score = LA
6. Worst score = WY
 
GRADES:
  • B (7) – FL, GA, IL, LA, MO, TX, WA
  • C (9) – AK, AZ, IN, MA, MN, OH, OK, TN, WI
  • D (17) – AL, CO, DE, IA, KY, MD, MS, NE, NJ, NV, NY, NC, OR, RI, SC, UT, VT
  • F (18) – AR, CA, CT, DC, HI, ID, KS, ME, MI, MT, NH, NM, ND, PA, SD, VA, WV, WY

2012 Legislative Progress:

One year after the release of the 2011 Protected Innocence Challenge:*

  • 240 state and 38 federal bills were introduced that relate to domestic minor sex trafficking.
  • 78 laws were passed that relate to domestic minor sex trafficking.
  • 40 states had legislation introduced that relates to the Protected Innocence Framework.
  • 33 states enacted legislation related to the Protected Innocence Framework.

*Statistics are based on Congressional Quarterly State Track accounting for legislation introduced or passed between August 1, 2011 and August 1, 2012.

MEDIA CONTACT:

Taryn Mastrean

Communications Director

703.351.8062 office / 602.818.3955 cell

Taryn@sharedhope.org

ABOUT THE PROTECTED INNOCENCE LEGISLATIVE FRAMEWORK: The Protected Innocence Legislative Framework is the legal analysis tool of the Protected Innocence Challenge, a comprehensive strategy to promote zero tolerance for child sex trafficking. Shared Hope International conducted a 41-component comprehensive analysis of each state’s existing laws as a basis for the Report Card. The Protected Innocence Legislative Framework solely evaluates a state’s existing laws and does not evaluate enforcement or implementation.

The methodology was vetted by experts in the anti-trafficking field including Ambassador Mark Lagon (U.S. Department of State, Office to Monitor and Combat Trafficking in Persons 2007-2009) and directors from the following organizations: the National District Attorneys Association; American Bar Association Center on Children and the Law; the Protection Project at Johns Hopkins University School of Advanced International Studies; ECPAT-USA; Children at Risk, Houston, Texas; and A Future. Not a Past., Atlanta, Georgia

MEDIA MATERIALS

For media convenience, a variety of video clips and resources, including sex trafficking survivor comments, are available upon request.

ABOUT SHARED HOPE INTERNATIONAL: Shared Hope International was founded in 1998, by former U.S. Congresswoman Linda Smith, and exists to rescue and restore women and children in crisis. We are leaders in a worldwide effort to prevent and eradicate sex trafficking and slavery using a three-pronged strategy: prevent, rescue & restore, and bring justice. For more information about Shared Hope International, and the Protected Innocence Challenge, go to www.sharedhope.org.

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Sharing Your Adventure: Loving One Another Enough to Hold Each Other Accountable

Love. Care. Tenderness. Support. These are all character qualities that are essential to the Defenders. These qualities in my mind all describe one important value of the Defenders: accountability. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, accountability means “an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions.”

I always grew up with the term “brother’s keeper.” Brother’s Keeper is a simple term that means you love someone enough to hold them accountable to their actions. In my experience, accountability is only successfully done when both parties hold each other accountable out of common love for the wellbeing of the other person. Part two of The Defenders Pledge says “I will hold my friends accountable for their actions towards women and children.”

Women and Children deserve respect. They deserve to be honored, and we should treat them with that in mind. Human Trafficking and commercial sex takes advantage of women, makes them our objects, and that in no way is right. Out of love for our friends and the women and children who are involved in the industry, should we not hold each other accountable and stay away from that? Out of love and care for the wellbeing of our fellow men, should we not hold each other accountable to our actions? Should we not challenge each other? That’s why part two of the Defenders pledge exists. Out of love and respect for women and children, indulging in the commercial sex industry is clearly not an option.

But as I’ve said in previous blog posts, commercial sex can be an addictive indulgence. It can consume our lives, and pretty soon, quitting this terrible indulgence is harder than we thought. That is also where accountability comes in.Accountability can work as a powerful sword. Holding our fellow men accountable to their actions can fight those desires to indulge, and for some, completely eliminate them. For many, accountability also becomes a shield, which defends our hearts and restores our minds. I’ve experienced this effect personally through a Men’s group which I’ve called Men Mentoring Men.

This group consists of 5-8 men who are committed to meeting once each week to talk about life. We talk about the highs, lows, and struggles of the past week–both sexually and relationally. This group helps men grow in relationship with each other, and restore a healthy view of relationships and sexuality. We laugh, we cry, and we celebrate. This group creates a sword and shield for men who are struggling with commercial sex. It allows men to be vulnerable, and to acknowledge the pain in their life. Ultimately, this group effectively restores our desire to honor and respect women and children.

In a few weeks a new resource will be made available to all men. This resource, which I have compiled and created myself, will walk any guy through the process of creating a Men Mentoring Men accountability group. It is my strong belief that every guy needs at least one other guy to hold them accountable. Every guy needs support, care, and love. Every guy needs a close, supportive friend. Every guy needs accountability.

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